Upriver/Transcript

NOTE: The mission does not start off with an opening cutscene.

Obtain Sniping Position
''The mission starts off with Bravo Two sneaking through the jungle, until they see a Latin American Militia sniper keeping watch of the outpost below. All the dialogue for the first two objectives are spoken quietly in order to not alert any enemies.''

George Gordon Haggard Jr.: Down! Sniper nest up there, covering the river.

Samuel Redford: Marlowe, he's yours. Do it quiet.

''Marlowe sneaks up to the sniper and kills him with his knife. A cutscene triggers afterwards, with Marlowe using his binoculars to see Aguire being taken to a Russian operative.''

Preston Marlowe: I guess that's our guy. Is that a Russian? Where are they taking him?

Redford: Yeah, I don't know, but I got an idea of how we gonna find out. Marlowe, we're gonna try to get close. You snipe, take out the guards. Use the thunder to hide your shots.

Terrance Sweetwater: Is it wrong of me to say I wish I'd thought of that?

Redford: Yes! We're Oscar Mike, stay frosty!

Terminate Militia Sentries
Marlowe acquires a Type 88 Sniper from the dead enemy and Haggard is using his binoculars to spot enemies while Redford and Sweetwater try to get close to the militia officer's hideout.

Redford: We'll find out where they took him.

Haggard: Guy on the pier. Wait for the thunder, and then take him out. Fire when ready.

A clap of thunder is heard and Marlowe kills the enemy.

Haggard: Beautiful shot. Move up, Sarge.

Redford: We're Oscar Mike.

Haggard: Two tangos on the far pier. Range to target, seven, two. Wind, five knots. Wait for the thunder. Fire when ready.

Another clap of thunder strikes and Marlowe kills the two enemies in quick succession.

Haggard: Good shooting. All units, move up.

Redford: Copy that.

Haggard: Tango at twelve o'clock. Wait for the thunder. Fire when ready.

Another militia member is killed as thunder strikes again.

Haggard: There we go. Good job, buddy.

Two militia members are seen walking to the front of the officer's hideout and then stand there, presenting a two-for-one opportunity.

Haggard: Two more, near the officers. Wait for them to get clear. Fire when ready.

Marlowe kills the two enemies with one bullet as the clap of thunder is heard.

Haggard: Fuckin' A, Marlowe. Area clear.

Redford and Sweetwater move in to the hideout and gain the info on where Aguire is being taken to.

Regroup With Unit
Redford: Nice, we got what we needed. Okay, we're clear! Regroup!

Marlowe and Haggard traverse down the hill to Redford and Sweetwater's position.

Redford: Alright. Now we're gettin' somewhere.

Sweetwater: Here's something I'm wondering... Who the hell goes to war in cowboy hats?

Haggard: Uh... Cowboys?

Sweetwater: Cowboys haven't been in a war in over a hundred years.

Haggard: The Dallas Cowboys go to war every Sunday. Sometimes Monday.

Redford: Let's just find Aguire, okay?

Follow Unit
Bravo Two continues to walk through another stretch of jungle, but Haggard is able to warn his squadmates of a hidden tripwire.

Haggard: Hold up, hold up... Tripwire.

Sweetwater: Shit! How did you see that?

Haggard: My spidey senses were tingling.

Sweetwater: Thanks. Thanks, Hags.

Haggard: Look, I wasn't raised in the suburbs, ya frickin' mallrat.

Bravo Two continues on through the jungle as Marlowe disables the rest of the tripwires.

First tripwire is disabled.

Redford: Alright, this trap's disarmed. Good work, Marlowe.

Second tripwire is disabled.

Redford: Trap's clear.

Third and last tripwire is disabled.

Haggard: Good eye, Marlowe, the trap's disarmed.

''Bravo Two finally makes it to yet another outpost as a squad militia members are listening to some music. They ambush and kill the enemies, then continue past a cliff in which the drop below gives Sweetwater some chills.''

Sweetwater: That's a long way down, huh? Okay... Just a rock! I'm fine! It's cool!

Another cutscene is triggered, with Redford's binoculars being used to scout a guard post.

Redford: Hmm. They're dug in here like an Alabama tick. That guard tower over there. And then that one. Alright, we're gonna lay down a base of fire. Best bet is to go straight, jump down into that riverbed over there, and we pin 'em down. Then you hit 'em from the side.

Assault Upriver
Bravo Two opens fire on the militia members as the squad jumps down into the riverbed.

Sweetwater: Get into the river!

Bravo Two is able to enter guard post and eliminate all enemies there.

Move To Surveillance Position
''Bravo Two makes their way up to the top of a hill, and another cutscene is triggered. It shows Aguire being taken to some kind of stronghold by the militia members.''

Redford: There he is.

Sweetwater: Yeah... They're taking him up there, I guess. Looks well defended too.

Redford: This gon' get real ugly.

Assault Militia Stronghold
Haggard: Shit! Enemy infantry, over on the other side.

Bravo Two makes their way down the hill as two Mi-24 Hinds fly by.

Sweetwater: Look out! Russian choppers. Man, they shouldn't be here!

Redford: Well somebody sent them. We attack on your signal. Light those guys up!

''Bravo Two kills the enemies outside the stronghold. When they finally enter, a shielded HMG starts to attack them.''

Redford: Machine gun!

Haggard: Get down!

Sweetwater: God damn it!

Redford: This guy is eating us alive. Preston, follow me! We'll take him from the side.

''Marlowe and Redford flank the HMG and kill the operator, along with more of the militia members. When Bravo Two finally exits the stronghold, a Vodnik starts to attack them, but Marlowe is able to take it out with a nearby M2CG.''

Neutralize Enemy Militia Elements
''Bravo Two enters an old courtyard as rain starts to fall. By surprise, a militia member destroys the statue at the center, which almost falls on Haggard as he dives out of the way.''

Marlowe is able to take out two machine gunners as they set up their MGs.

Haggard: Machine gunner down!

When Bravo Two neutralizes all threats, they finally catch sight of Aguire as he is being taken by a Russian operative.

Redford: He's over there!

Unfortunately, the operative spots them and calls for a BMD-3 to take them out.

Redford: Tank, get down!

Destroy Enemy Tank
Redford: RPG the fucking thing!

Marlowe uses the M2CG from a nearby ammo crate to take out the BMD-3.

Liberate NSA Operative Aguire
An Mi-24 Hind flies in to take Aguire away.

Redford: Shit, that chopper's gotta be for him! Come on. Move! Move! Move!

Redford gives Marlowe an MP-443 Grach to take out the Russian operative using Aguire as a human shield.

Sweetwater: There he is.

Redford: Don't kill the VIP, we need him alive.

Sweetwater: Take the shot!

Marlowe takes out the operative and the Hind flies away.

Ending Cutscene
Redford: Major Aguire?

As Bravo Two walks toward Aguire, he points an MP-443 at Sweetwater.

Aguire: Gun!

Sweetwater moves out of the way, and Aguire kills a Russian soldier behind him.

Sweetwater: Damn!

Aguire: No problem, we're square.

Redford: Sir, Braidwood sent us. We have something to show you.

Aguire: Alright then, show it to me.

''Redford shows Aguire the USB stick given by Braidwood. Aguire takes it and inserts it on a laptop, which then shows pictures of the dummy weapon Bravo Two found back in Chukotka.''

Aguire: God damn, they really did it.

Haggard: Braidwood said it was a fake.

Aguire: Of course it's a fake, I told them it'd be a fake. Christ! They wouldn't just move the actual weapon there, we knew that already.

Haggard: (Whispering) We did?

Marlowe: (Whispering) Hags!

Aguire: Alright, so a couple of months back we set up a relay off an old French weather satellite, hook into this Georgian milnet. Found out plenty, the dummy weapon was just part of it. Then these guys showed up.

Sweetwater: They got all your intel?

Aguire: Yeah.

Sweetwater: No backups?

Aguire nods.

Redford: Where?

Aguire points up to the sky as Bravo Two looks on.

Mission Ends.

Other Dialogue
The following dialogue can be encountered in either Upriver or the mission before, Heart of Darkness.

Fly Or Swim? Or Be Invisible?
Sweetwater: If you could choose a superpower, what would it be?

Haggard: Superpower?

Sweetwater: Yeah.

Haggard: I would, uh... I'd shoot Snooker real good.

Sweetwater: Snooker?

Haggard: Oh no, superpower. Sorry, I just thought if you could do something real good. I like to play Pool. I lost a hell of a lot of money when I was a kid. Superpower? Well, would you rather... Sarge, would you rather fly, or would you rather swim? You could swim underwater with breathing. And when you fly, you could use your arms. You don't got to be naked either.

Sweetwater: Or invisibility, that one's good!

Haggard: Shit, yeah, but let's just try with you can fly or you can swim. Sarge, you first.

Redford: Haggard, leave me the fuck alone.

Haggard: Sweets, what would you be?

Sweetwater: Well considering our line of work, I think invisible would be good.

Haggard: No, but if you could fly, or swim underwater in which you breathe underwater, which one would you go for?

Sweetwater: Oh I would totally go for flying. Every time.

Haggard: Yeah, me too. I always enjoyed the idea. Sometimes, I have dreams of flying.

Sweetwater: Dreams about flying?

Haggard: Yeah.

Sweetwater: Yeah, everybody does, don't they?

Angry Sarge
Haggard: Sarge? Sarge, you have the deepest, darkest eyes I've ever seen.

Redford: You better get the fuck off me.

Haggard: I'm not on you, I'm just saying that in terms of eyes. And if you look at each and everyone of our eyes, you can read there the maps to the soul. And they got this thing called the "Fear Diction", where they can tell if you're allergic to shit. I look in your eyes, and I think you're probably allergic to love 'cause you're an angry man.

Redford: Just step away from me.

Sweetwater: He's right, Sarge. You got deep, dark eyes.

Haggard: Hey, I think I got Sarge in the ropes here.

Cagefighting
Haggard: Hey, UFC cage match. You got your Hulk Hogan. He's a big man. You put him in with Lidell. You know Chuck Lidell? Lidell?

Sweetwater: Yeah.

Haggard: Who's gonna win?

Sweetwater: Chuck Lidell.

Haggard: You think so?

Sweetwater: Uh, Hulk Hogan is, uh, he was the best of the best, but now he's getting old...

Redford: Oh, that's a bunch of bullshit.

Sweetwater: Cagefighting isn't, Sarge. Have you ever seen cagefighting?

Redford: Cagefighting is real, I believe you.

Haggard: Cagefighting is real.

Sweetwater: Oh yeah, man.

Haggard: WWF is real.

Sweetwater: WWF?

Haggard: Yeah, real.

Sweetwater: Well it's real something.

Redford: Real trained, real rehearsed.

Haggard: Hey Sweets! Hulk Hogan against the Sarge! Who's gonna win?

Redford: The Sarge 'cause I shoot his big ass.

Haggard: Sarge, you couldn't rip your t-shirt for fucking talking.

Redford: Yeah sorry, but I bust a cap in his ass. That's what I'll do to him, Hags.

Sweetwater: (laughs a bit) Yeah, I got to say Sarge 'cause he's standing right there and he's got a gun.

Haggard: Well, what we should do then is get ourselves some big ass explosives. And Sarge, we blow 'em up and "BOOM!", he walks through it, rips his t-shirt off. BOOM! He's gonna fight Hulk Hogan. C'mon, Hogan!

Sweetwater: I would pay to see that. I would pay to see that.

Redford: Mhmm.

Right To The Point
Haggard: Sarge?

Redford: Yeah?

Haggard: Tell us about where you're from?

Redford: I was from Two Buck, Mississipi. Two Buck is right next to One Buck.

Sweetwater: Which is right next to Fifty (50) Cent?

Redford: Exactly, 50 Cent. 50 Cent, Sweets.

Sweetwater: You listen to 50 Cent?

Redford: Yep.

Haggard: Why does the black man say 50 Cent? Why doesn't he just say 50 Cents?

Redford: I would imagine because 50 Cent is more to the point. It's quicker than 50 Cents.

Sweetwater: So it's a question of expeditiousness?

Redford: Yes.

Sweetwater: I can understand that.

Haggard: 50 Cent!

Redford: If I did ultimate fighting, I'd be called "To The Point Redford". Exactly To The Point Redford.

Sweetwater: Would you be a striking fighter or would you be grapple, ground and pound?

Redford: I'd be a sneaky bastard. I'd have a bayonet right in my trunks. Walk right up behind him, slap him on his ears and stab him in the back.

Sweetwater: You do know that they have rules about not doing that?

Redford: They wouldn't see it.

Sweetwater: It's a cage, like an octagon, there's like people all around.

Redford: I know.

Sweetwater: I think somebody would see the bayonet.

Redford: No, no, they wouldn't know it just like those rugby players in the hurdle. I wait for them to get right on the floor.

Sweetwater: Rugby? That's what the English call Football except you can't pass forward.

Redford: Ah okay. Sweets, you'd be knowing a whole bunch of shit I tell you.

Sweetwater laughs a bit.

Haggard: Sergeant, I've never heard you crack a joke before and that was funny. That was very, very funny.

Redford: Well, I'm just letting myself hang out since we ain't got something else to do.

I'd Like To Be Harrison Ford
Haggard: Here we are, in the middle of South America, all special operationed up, and we're still blowing up barrels.

Sweetwater: So what would you rather be doing?

Haggard: I'm just saying rescuing hostages, do like slow-mo weapons kills on terrorists, telling people to "Get off my plane."

Sweetwater: You wanna be Harrison Ford in Air Force One?

Haggard: Don't you?

Sweetwater: No, you gotta be Indiana Jones, man.

Haggard: Well I like Harrison Ford better.

Sweetwater: That was Harrison Ford.

Haggard: Yeah?

Sweetwater: Yeah.

Haggard In SAD?
Sweetwater: Are we really gonna be a part of SAD now? I mean me, Marlowe and the Sarge, I get. But you, Haggard? They got to be really scraping the bottom of the barrel to admit a whiskey tango dirt eater such as yourself in our esteemed company.

Haggard: That dog won't hunt, Terrance. I think it's time for you to shut the fuck up.

Sweetwater: I will if you will.

For other dialogues like this, see Heart of Darkness/Transcript.