User blog:Zealot Guy/Murphys Law of Battlefield: Bad Company 2

Murphys Law states that "Whatever can go wrong - will." There are Murphys Law of Combat, but here I've come up with Murphys Law of Bad Company 2. Most of these are adopted right from the original, or edited somewhat.

The Laws

 * 1) Friendly fire - isn't.
 * 2) Recoilless rifles - aren't.
 * 3) Suppressive fire - won't.
 * 4) If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
 * 5) If it works too well, it's cheap.
 * 6) If it's fair, you'll be banned for it.
 * 7) Your hand grenades have 5 second fuses that last 7 seconds.
 * 8) The enemy has grenades with 5 second fuses that last 3 seconds.
 * 9) The knife will never work for you.
 * 10) The knife will always work on you.
 * 11) The amount of failed knife kills a player attempted is about three times as many dogtags they've taken.
 * 12) There is always a way.
 * 13) The easy way is always mined.
 * 14) The hard way is also mined.
 * 15) Every recon on your team is a useless sniper faggot.
 * 16) Every recon on the opposing team is a professional.
 * 17) Snipers always go after easy targets.
 * 18) You are an easy target.
 * 19) Cover your front and you'll be shot in the ass.
 * 20) Cover your ass and you'll be shot in the side.
 * 21) Cover yourself well and you'll have nothing to shoot at.
 * 22) 17 bullets to the chest is easily survivable.
 * 23) The nearest medic is either too far away, dead, or an imbecile.
 * 24) The nearest engineer is either too far away, dead, an imbecile, or out of ammo.
 * 25) Whenever you have a decent supply of ammo, you will have perfect accuracy.
 * 26) Whenever you're running low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
 * 27) The nearest assault will never supply ammo when you need it.
 * 28) If the nearest assault knew to supply ammo, you'd never need ammo. You'd just have it.
 * 29) The best helicopter pilot in the server is on the other team.
 * 30) And he has stolen your team's helicopter.
 * 31) If you haven't been shot at yet, it's because they're directing mortars at you.
 * 32) The three most dangerous places on the battlefield are: in the open, doors, and stairs.
 * 33) The minimum safe distance for C4 is one foot farther than you ran before hitting the detonator.
 * 34) The seriousness of a wound sustained in combat is directly proportional to the distance from the nearest cover.